...about C-sections

One of the few fights I remember having with my husband when I was pregnant was about the whole pain management process of childbirth. I was adamant about not having an epidural. My mother delivered both of her children naturally, I have an exceptionally high pain tolerance, by golly, I could do it too!! My husband, doubting Thomas, wanted me to have a back up plan. He remembered, even if I did not, that all the kids in his family were big babies and felt, rightly so, that I should be prepared.

Without going into too much detail, other than the gigantic melon my kid was born with making a natural delivery impossible, I not only had the pain meds I had previously eschewed, I delivered via cesarean section. Needless to say, I was completely unprepared for what a c-section meant and how I would be immediately impacted.

So, without further ado, these are the three things I wish I had known about c-sections:

1. Those post-op meds are a bitch! Don't get me wrong, you've just had major surgery - you're going to want all the meds you can get! When else are you awake during a major surgery? I demand to be knocked out when I have a tooth pulled! I'm not a doctor or a scientist, so for all I know, it could have been the adrenaline come-down mixed with the strength of the meds, but the way my teeth were chattering after entering the recovery room, I'm surprised I didn't bust a whole bunch of teeth! In between gazing longingly at the baby I couldn't hold because I was shaking too hard and begging for more warm blankets (I think I cleaned them out!), I was miserable. The nurse did everything she could to make me comfortable, but I didn't stop shaking until at least two hours after the surgery.

2. The nurses aren't cruel, really! In the middle of the night on the day I delivered my daughter, a nurse came in at what felt like four am. I'm sure she didn't come in that late, but it's my story, dammit! In an effort to ensure a healthy recovery, she made me get up and walk. WALK! While my husband blissfully snoozed in the corner (believe me, my balance was too skewed for any well aimed kicks...I tried), I did laps around my hospital room. Before you get any glorified ideas in your head, at best my pace was a drag-shuffle-hold onto the IV pole for support. When I was triumphant about the half lap I did, she prodded me to do more, all the while my husband is STILL snoozing or mumbling "Good job, honey...zzzz" After I completed my laps to Nurse Ratchet's satisfaction, I was allowed to go back to bed. I sat in bed sulking angrily in my husband's general direction, for all the good it did me. To this day, he wonders why I kicked him out of the hospital room in the middle of the night.

3. When they say take it easy, take it easy! When you leave the hospital, you have the choice to take a prescription for pain medication with you. I took it with me because I am a girl who likes to be prepared. I am so glad I did. I didn't heed the "no stairs" rule, or the "no driving" rule or even the "no bench pressing medium sized dogs" rule. Nope! I felt great! I was ready to tackle the world! Let's go grocery shopping! Let's get those birth announcements made! (In my defense, if they didn't get made shortly after childbirth, they weren't going to get made ever. Seriously). You can imagine, as a result, my recovery took longer and I wound up getting a pain medication refill. As a fiercely independent woman (who was still mad at her husband for his hospital cluelessness), I could do it by myself and would prove to everybody I could do it by myself! ALL BY MYSELF! I wish I had taken advantage of the offers of help. People don't offer to help out of obligation, they offer to help because they genuinely care and want to help. You ain't getting those offers when your child is two and melting down in the middle of the mall for reasons unknown, so take advantage while you can. You probably shouldn't eat bon bons while you do it though. Might send out the wrong message.

And those are the three things I wish I'd known about c-sections! This is a work in progress so please leave comments so that we may improve our content, look, etc. Also, let me know if you're interested in being a guest blogger. The more the merrier!